


Witches And Things

by Whymsical



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Attempt at Humor, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Owls, Volleyball Dorks in Love, Witches, the kuroken is pretty minor and just at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 17:18:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16623134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whymsical/pseuds/Whymsical
Summary: Five years ago, Bokuto Koutarou promised a child to a witch in exchange for a healing tonic. Now, the witch has come to collect.





	Witches And Things

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first foray into writing a Haikyuu!! fic so please be gentle with me lol. I love these two so much and I've got a longer fic planned, but I figured it would be good to write some shorter stuff first.
> 
> This is kind of based on that tumblr post 'Years ago, you promised your firstborn to a witch. Since then, despite your best efforts, you can’t seem to get laid. The witch is starting to get pretty pissed.' though I've spun it out in its own direction a bit, too.
> 
> They're all around 'last years of university/recently finished university' age.

The prettiest man in the world is standing outside his door. Bokuto gulps and almost drops his bag of frozen mice. Bokuto has seen the prettiest man in the world only once before, years ago. He seems even prettier now.

“Bokuto Koutarou,” the prettiest man in the world says, before Bokuto can take another step forward.

“H-Hey.” Bokuto winces at the crack in his voice and hurries over to his door. A few seconds later, he has it unlocked and open. “You wanna come in?”

“I don’t think my business here will take so long that that will be necessary. Do you remember me?”

As if he could ever forget. “Akaashi Keiji.”

Akaashi smiles pleasantly. “Good. Your time is up, Bokuto-san.”

Oh boy. “I really think you should come in.” Bokuto places a broad hand against Akaashi’s back and nudges him forward, ignoring the way the other man momentarily stiffens.

When they’re both inside, Bokuto pulls his hand back and turns around to close and lock the door. There’s a flutter of wings behind him and then a weight on his shoulder. He smiles a bit and reaches up to stroke the Ural owl’s back. There’s a strange expression on Akaashi’s face as he faces the other man again, but Akaashi doesn’t say anything.

Bokuto leads them down the short hallway to the kitchen and living room area. Along the way, the owl takes off from his shoulder and glides to one of the perches scattered around the room. Once the bag of mice is safely in the freezer, Bokuto claps his hands.

“You want something? I have coffee! And tea! And cake, I think.”

“Tea, then,” Akaashi says after a moment.

“Sure, sure! Sit down, get comfy!”

Bokuto catches glimpse of his reflection in the small owl mirror on the wall and the corners of his lips droop down into a pout. A good portion of his hair has escaped its style since it’s the evening, and silver-grey strands hang limply across his forehead and against the back of his neck. While the kettle boils, he dashes to the bathroom to fix his hair. The prettiest man in the world is in his apartment, after all.

“Did you-” Akaashi starts when he returns, but doesn’t finish the sentence. Instead, he shakes his head a little bit and leans back against the couch.

“Did I?” Bokuto asks as he sprints to cut off the whistling kettle. Across the room, the owl opens one eye and seems to glare at the kettle on the stove, but Bokuto doesn’t pay it any attention.

“No, nothing.”

They don’t speak anymore until they’re both settled in the living room, a cup of tea in front of Akaashi and a glass of water on Bokuto’s side of the table. More and more nervous energy builds in Bokuto’s body the longer the silence stretches on, and he ends up playing with his phone while he waits for something to happen.

He’s never been particularly good at waiting.

“Is it good?” he asks.

Akaashi lifts the cup to his lips for the first time. His eyes close momentarily as he takes in the scent, but his face is unreadable after he drinks. “It’s fine.”

“Okay! That’s good!” Bokuto laughs loudly and gulps down half of his water.

“Do you live alone?” Akaashi asks. His eyes glitter in the light, shifting between grey and green and blue.

Bokuto stares, transfixed.

“Bokuto-san?”

He jolts, and a sheepish smile stretches over his lips. “Yeah. Is it obvious?”

Akaashi ignores the question. “I assume that means you don’t have a child for me, then.”

You see, the prettiest man in the world is also the prettiest witch in the world. Bokuto has only ever met one witch, but he’s fairly confident in his opinion. He doesn’t think he’ll ever see anyone, or anything, prettier than the man sitting across from him now.

Five years ago, Bokuto promised the prettiest witch in the world his first child in exchange for a healing tonic.

Bokuto licks his lips. “You see, uh,” he says as Akaashi lifts the cup to his lips again. “Turns out I’m like, really gay.”

There’s no spit take. The cup doesn’t shatter. Akaashi’s eyes widen minutely, but that’s about it. He lowers the cup and places it delicately on the table. “Excuse me?”

“Yeah!” Bokuto laughs too-loudly again, his eyes skittering around the room. “I tried! I knew I was bi at least before and I really tried dating girls and stuff, but it never worked and then it just kinda clicked that I just wasn’t into them for the long term, or even the short term, and…yeah…”

The slightest of furrows appears between Akaashi’s eyebrows. “You have no interest in women.”

“…Not really anymore, no.”

“Were you even planning on having a child?”

Bokuto scratches at the back of his neck. “To be honest, I wasn’t really thinking that far into the future.”

Now Akaashi’s frowning in full. The temperature in the room seems to drop. “You-”

“I wasn’t thinking about tricking you or anything!” Bokuto yelps, his arms flailing out. “I promise! I just really needed the potion and you said baby and like, it wasn’t _not_ an option, but it wasn’t something really solid either. I figured future me could deal with it. I kinda wanna go smack past me now, though.”

Akaashi looks a little bit like he’d like to go smack past Bokuto as well. He opens his mouth, but before he can say anything, the owl hoots from its perch. His eyes flicker to it, then narrow. “Bokuto-san.”

“Y-Yeah?”

“What did you need my tonic for?”

Bokuto’s eyes slide away from the witch’s form. “Well, uh…”

“Did you use it on the owl?”

“Whoa! How’d you know?”

Akaashi purses his lips. “I can feel trace amounts of my magic within her.”

“That’s so cool!” Bokuto’s eyes are wide with awe.

“Bokuto-san,” Akaashi says slowly, precisely. “Did you trade your child for a tonic to save an _owl_?”

“Her name’s Fuyuko,” Bokuto says defensively.

Akaashi lets out a soft sigh. His expression smoothes over. He looks serene. At peace. After some moments, he finally speaks. “Why?”

“I couldn’t just let her die!” Bokuto gasps. “I found her while on a jog when she was real young and when I called a vet for advice they said she was probably gonna die and I couldn’t just leave her there!” He holds out an arm and lets out a short, low whistle. “Fuyu-chan!”

Fuyuko ruffles her feathers a bit and turns a blank stare onto the loud human. For a moment it seems as if she’s going to ignore the call, but then she glides over to perch on Bokuto’s head. It’s quite comical, considering she’s nearly twice as big as it and blends in near-seamlessly with his hair. Bokuto squawks as his hairstyle is yet again ruined and has to grip onto the side of the chair so he doesn’t fall over from the extra weight, but after a moment he’s settled again.

One of Akaashi’s thin eyebrows rises. “She’s quite…responsive, for an owl.”

“I guess.” Bokuto reaches up to run his knuckles gently through the feathers on her chest. He lowers his head after receiving a light nip.

“That might have something to do with the magic,” Akaashi murmurs, more to himself than anything. His intrigued expression then schools back into a more neutral one. “How did you even find me back then? You don’t strike me as the type to believe in magic.”

“Oh. After I got off the phone with the vet, I called my buddy Kuroo and he said his buddy Kenma recommended you.”

“Ah. That would explain it.”

Bokuto’s eyes fall to the table, and he starts tracing the rim of his glass with a finger. “What do you need a kid for, anyway? You’re really young.”

Akaashi sniffs. “I’ll have you know I’m almost a thousand years old, Bokuto-san.”

Gold eyes widen. “Oh my god- Really?” The longer he stares at Akaashi’s impassive face, though, the more he can pick out the teasing light in those shifting eyes and he gasps again. “Akaashi! That was mean!”

Akaashi chuckles. “I can’t say I’m too sorry. The look on your face was too good.”

“Mean,” Bokuto repeats, pouting in full now. He has to fight to keep a blush off his cheeks. Akaashi’s laugh is gorgeous, light and airy, but with a hidden throatiness at the very end.

“Mmm.” Akaashi hums as he takes another sip of tea. “To answer your question, though…” He tilts his face down so his expression is mostly hidden. “I suppose I just wanted an assistant, and…someone to be there. Not to mention, it’s practically tradition.”

Bokuto watches him intently. He takes a moment to process everything, then leans back and puffs himself up. “That’s stupid.”

Akaashi’s back snaps straight and he shoots a glare in Bokuto’s direction. “Excuse me?”

“Instead of wanting a random kid for that, why don’t you try and get a girlfriend? Or boyfriend?”

“Do you know how hard it is for someone like me? The moment I tell anyone about magic and my witchcraft, they either laugh or sneer, and always leave shortly after,” Akaashi says bitterly.

“But you’re so pretty,” Bokuto blurts.

They both freeze for a moment, their cheeks pinking faintly. Akaashi recovers first but averts his eyes, glaring off to the side. “How shallow.”

Bokuto deflates at that, and on top of his head, Fuyuko has to flutter her wings to keep her balance. “I don’t mean it like that…” He winces and his shoulders hunch in a little bit.

“…How did you mean it, then?” Akaashi asks quietly after a moment, when it becomes evident the silver-haired man isn’t going to say more on his own.

“W-Well-” Bokuto’s cheeks puff out as he tries to sort through the words flying around in his head. “I mean you are pretty, really pretty, but that’s not all! Your magic is so cool! You saved Fuyu-chan! And I bet it’s really helpful to a lot of other people, too! And you’re a little mean but not in a really mean way, more like a sarcastic way which I fall for a lot, and your laugh is really pretty too! You’re just really cool, Akaashi, and those assholes that laughed or were really mean to you don’t deserve you.” By now, Bokuto has practically melted into his chair, and his cheeks fill with colour now that he’s stopped sprouting compliments. Her perch thoroughly disturbed, Fuyuko hops over to sit on the edge of the couch instead.

Akaashi is quiet for a long while, fiddling with his fingers. He’s ducked his head down again, though he’s watching Bokuto from underneath his fringe. “That sounded almost like a confession.”

Bokuto squeaks and his cheeks go cherry red. He grabs a pillow and shoves it against his lower face, then mumbles something into the fabric.

“I didn’t catch that.”

For a few moments, they stare at each other again. Then Bokuto lowers the pillow and drops his gaze to his lap. “I…wouldn’t be…opposed…”

Akaashi’s brows furrow. “Opposed?”

“If you took it like one.”

Slowly, redness fills Akaashi’s cheeks until he’s blushing nearly as much as Bokuto. “That’s not-” what he came here for. He meant to scold Bokuto for not holding up his end of their deal, but Bokuto keeps throwing one curveball after another at him. It’s ridiculous. And yet… “If you’re going to confess, at least do it properly.”

“A-Akaashi?” Bokuto stares at him again.

The flush fades and Akaashi’s expression becomes closed off once more. “If I’ve misunderstood…”

“No!” Bokuto jumps up and nearly flies over the table and onto Akaashi’s lap due to his energy. “No you haven’t! You one hundred percent haven’t! I just didn’t think you’d want to…”

“Want to?”

“With me.”

The tiniest of smiles appears on Akaashi’s face. “You’ll just have to ask to find out, hmm?”

Bokuto seems to flounder about even more. “Oh! Uh, wow! Geez…” His hands shoot up into his hair, trying to fix it again. As if Akaashi hasn’t seen the mess Fuyuko has made of it.

Akaashi watches as he fidgets and mumbles to himself, trying to gather himself enough to get the words out. The witch’s face is still mostly cool and collected, but there’s no denying the subtle hints of affection present as well. He’s content to give Bokuto as much time as he needs. After a moment, he reaches out and offers an arm to Fuyuko. The owl stares at him, then hops on. Perhaps she can sense the familiar magic. His smile widens fractionally as he brings her close and starts stroking her back. He realizes all other movement in the room has stopped and looks up to see Bokuto staring at him with wide eyes. One eyebrow arches questioningly.

“Oh! You look cute. With her. Together. You look cute together. I mean you look cute too! But with her-” Bokuto’s mouth snaps shut as Akaashi laughs. He grows redder at the sound, but he knows it’s not malicious laughter. “She’s taken a liking to you.”

“I’m glad.” Akaashi’s eyes are warm as he glances down at the owl, and then back to the man.

“She’s not the only one.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah! I- I really like you, Akaashi! I think your magic is cool and you’re even cooler and I’d love to get to know you better! Would you wanna get coffee or something sometime?”

Akaashi lifts his arm and watches as Fuyuko flies off to one of her perches. He then gestures to the couch seat next to him. His shoulders tense up a little bit as Bokuto sits down, and he goes back to fiddling with his fingers. “I’m rapidly growing fond of you as well, Bokuto-san.”

“Akaashi-!”

“To tell you the truth, I was, for lack of a better word, enchanted when you stepped into my shop. Your energy and drive were infectious. When you agreed to the child, I assumed you weren’t interested in men…” He lets out a quiet gasp as a warm, broad hand comes up to rest on top of his own two. When he looks up, Bokuto’s smile is wide, but soft.

“You know, after I saw you, I couldn’t get you out of my head. I think that’s why most of my dates and relationships didn’t go far. I couldn’t stop thinking about the prettiest guy in the world.”

“I’m hardly-”

“To me, you are,” Bokuto says simply.

For a moment, Akaashi is struck speechless. He then chuckles and ducks his head a bit. One of his hands twists around so he can lace his fingers with Bokuto’s. “It seems unconsciously, we’ve been having the same thoughts.”

“I guess so.” Bokuto hopes his hand isn’t too sweaty. “Is that a yes?”

Akaashi looks down at their intertwined hands. He gives Bokuto’s a small squeeze. “I’d very much like to go out with you.”

Bokuto lets out a whoop and wraps his arms around Akaashi’s shoulders. “I’m so happy!” he yells, right into Akaashi’s ear since the witch has his face smushed into the crook of Bokuto’s neck.

Though Akaashi winces at the volume, he can’t help but to smile more, and even reaches up to wind an arm around Bokuto’s waist. He never imagined that he’d leave with a date when he showed up after a child, but he can’t feel too upset at the turn of events. It feels good to be wrapped up in those strong arms, and he’d happily stay there all night, but before long, Bokuto is pulling away. He keeps his noise of disappointment to himself.

“Hey, hey, Akaashi?”

“Yes?”

“Could I kiss you?”

Akaashi closes the distance himself.

 

* * *

 

Across town, two faces are peering into a scrying mirror. The shorter of the two figures steps away first, his gold and black hair shifting in the candlelight. “Congratulations, Kuro. Your stupid five year plan actually worked.”

A smirk settles over Kuroo’s face as he watches for a moment longer. “Hey, if it worked, you can’t call it stupid.”

Kenma rolls his eyes, and with a wave of his hand, the scrying mirror becomes blank again.

“Thanks for dropping all those hints about babies and tradition beforehand, kitten.” Kuroo leans over and drapes a hand across Kenma’s shoulder, his fingertips lightly massaging the witch’s lower back.

“Mmm.” Kenma’s eyes slide halfway shut. “The baby owl was a lucky break, though.”

Kuroo snickers. “Yeah. Without it, who knows how much longer it would have taken. Good thing we weren’t that complicated, huh? And I was so much cooler, swept you right off your feet.”

“I remember you flailing around more when I called you out on your crush.”

“I did not!”

“Did too.”

“Did not.”

“…Did too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I kind of figure that Kuroo had met Akaashi beforehand due to Kenma and realized Bo and Akaashi would be good for each other and then convinced Kenma to help him get them together, but since it's Kuroo the plan is long and convoluted and isn't even guaranteed to work but somehow it does.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed!! ^-^
> 
> Also owls don't make good pets, don't get one/want one just because it seems cool!


End file.
